Thanksgiving Break

Thanksgiving Break was nice, and it was good to see family. I was able to get some relaxation in and some reading for class although not enough. On the other hand, it was also quite nice to get back to school. I like my syblings and everything, but they make it hard to just lie down and relax, so when I got back to school i just laid down in my bed and enjoyed the relaxation without even falling of sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I was able to return from nocturnalism over the break too. The awesome thing about changing my sleep schedule so drastically on purpose was that I got to pick what time I wanted to change it to. I chose to go to bed early as if I were junior high again with a bed time of somewhere between 9 and 11 then i always get enough sleep that I'm up by around 6 or 7 without an alarm. I've been using the early morning to get in some Yoga/push up, sit up exercises and making sure I'm showered, had a good breakfast and get to class a little early. I like this "new leaf," but I've still got some kinks to work out with my shcool work now.

I went shopping on Black Friday before work, I'm thinking of getting a learning game for my younger brother for Christmas like a Leap Frog game. None of those were on sale though, and there wasn't much else I was looking for, so I didn't get anything. This next year, I'm going to make a Christmas Gift list early, and then watch the prices throughout the year, to see if you actually get a deal on stuff on Black Friday or if they jack the prices a month before Black Friday, and then drop them back down and pretend like your'e saving money, like I suspect. I know you really can get deals on some stuff, for example there is no other time of the year that I can remember that you can get new popular movies for under $5 dollars. But I don't think you actually get an extra good deal on stuff like kitchen appliances (blenders and toaster ovens), entertainment electronics (Tv's and DVD players) and childrens toys (like dolls and those robotic type toys).

Anyway, there are only two weeks of school left, and I can hardly believe it, but I'm super excited for it to be over and I'm looking forward to being able to see a bunch of friends over Christmas break, makin' a little money at my job, and going to see the Golden Compass sometime too. I'm hoping all my friends will want to go with me to the Golden Compass with me, otherwise it won't be as fun. So far I've had one confirmed guest who will go with me. Maybe I should make a facebook event, so people can invite other people and we can have a bunch of people go.

Until next time...

Late Nights, followed by long days and naps.

Through a series of late night study sessions and working on projects into the early morning, and some long naps during the day have turned me practically nocturnal. I couldn't get to bed these last two nights until 5:00 AM, and since it was the weekend, I definately slept in until 4:00 PM on Saturday. Today I managed to get up by about 1:00 PM but I might as well have slept in because I'm staying up late tonight to finish a project that's due Tuesday. I wouldn't be surprised if I was up until my class "this" morning @ 9:00 AM. Maybe this could be a thing, I'll just move my sleep time to the day and stay up through the night until my morning class. It could work, but then I'd be NON-social, and I'm already shy enough. ehh. talk to ya later

EDIT:
Now: 6:12 AM
Location: Barracks

I'm going to bed, wake me up at 8:45 in time for class.

"A delicate arguement" by scott

I believe that arguements are good, but it's more polite to think of them as debates. Most times, if the people involved can behave in an acceptable manner and if sides of the opinion aren't totally WRONG, then I think that in the end both sides come out on top. Both sides are now enlightened in a point of view they may not have previously understood, and they probably both have moved closer to each other's beliefs. I'm not saying we should all end up thinking the same thing, that would defeat the purpose, but if we better understand each other's beliefs then we are more likely to get along.

The best thing about having debates (arguements) is that they work like the system of checks and balances we are supposed to have in our government. Everyone has their own agenda beliefs and values, but if we share our beliefs and values with others, we may find out though conversation, debate, and arguementation that our agendas weren't as good intention based as we thought. So this I say to you, next time you're having an arguement about what's right and wrong, don't shut the other person's thoughts out, but take them in and you may want to take a second to reconsider your own thoughts.

This post was inspired by both my roomate/friend and the very reason he is my friend, which because we don't necessarily agree all the time.

Time for an entry.

Lately, I've been feeling pretty compasionate about my career choice and I'm having a lot of postivie thoughts and experience with design along with a recently deeper interest in it too, and to top it off, today, my teacher told me that my ideas are very good and I do well in conveying them but, I don't do them on time. Alas, time has been my downfall since at least third grade. Late assignments, late assignments, late assignments! But I digress. The more I think about it the worse it becomes.

In other news, I have an assignment in marketing which requires me to compare two stores that have both online and brick and morter locations. I chose Best Buy and Barnes & Noble. And upon visiting the book store I had this fantasy of being the type of person who goes to the bookstore to pick up a book, buy it, read it and do it all over again every week or so. It doesn't sound quite as glorious in text but, the word enlightenment comes to mind. I don't know why it sounds like a cool thing, especially since I'm just not the type of person who would make time for that type of lifestyle.

Also I can't seem to get to bed tonight so I think I'm going to take a shower now and hope I can wake up for my class tomorrow morning.

Speaking of classes, I signed up for my new classes next semester, 5 classes. I should have every single one of my general electives done plus two history classes that I wasn't supposed to have taken until I got into the Arch. program. And, next semester I don't have a studio for once so it should be interesting to see how differently I can handle my time management skills. OH, and I applied for a job, I should be able to get it shortly with my method, and I'm hoping this will have a positive affect on my time management unlike video games do.

I think one of the reasons I am the way I am is because as a kid I changed schools 4 times before 5th Grade was over and I became a very adaptable type of person, easy and going with the flow so as not to create confrontation most of the time. But on the other hand, I can be very very stubborn about things and I'm not sure why or what has caused this trait in me. The stubbornness can often lead to "going nowhere" arguements. For example, I argued with my cousin once for quite sometime about how wierd it was that he wore gym shorts under his jeans and not just jogging pants. Strangely enough I do this a lot now myself, and my only arguement is that doing so creates versatile functioning.

Versatility is one of my favorite characteristics for a design to have. If you can design something to have multiple funtions (being versatile) but having a great aesthitic quality about it, then you've got something that can really be admired.

The end.

Self Awareness.

Last year, was my first year out on my own with no parents to answer to. I was all about finding out new things about myself that I hadn't been aware of before, I was constantly coming up with new ways that I could descibe myself and what I was about.

Now, I know all these things and I wonder if I know too much or at least I think I do. Its not helping me. I know that I'm not doing well in school and that I've become very lazy that I seriously lack motivation but I can't do anything to stop myself from causing more problems for me. My hypothesis is that somewhere along the line in the past years I 've lost something, perhaps a point of view, a lifestyle, some friends I used to hang out with, some beliefs that held my life together, I don't know what but something, or maybe a collection of small things, changes that have changed me.

I apologize to who ever reads these because my life hasn't been so well lately and it's just kinda sad and depressing. I have fun during the day, but it's pretty shallow fun and that's just not what usually comes to my mind when I have strong enough feelings that I feel like I should sit down and write something. Heck, I think I may have figured out why the NEWS is practically always negative, it's the most prominent in their minds. Good things on the NEWS are often shallow, lame or pathetic and that's why they don't put it on TV.

Anyway, I don't know what I'm going to do about myself, but I have some ideas of what I might do. Going along with my hypothesis from earlier, I may have lost something, which may have left some sort of void or gap in my life, and so now I'm on a quest to fill that gap. I mean my life has become incredably minimal lately. All I do is go to school, and the grocery store. Sometimes I go to studio to work on a project or to the library to study, but as you might guess, that doesn't happen often, because I'm sucking at school right now. So maybe if I started going to some bible studies or organizations, or if I got a job I could begin to fill that gap. Maybe if I had just enough distraction it would allow me to concentrate every once in a while instead of being so absent minded all the time and not doing my homework. I dread doing my homework, more than YOU think is possible normal students of the world.

Don't be worried though folks, the gap hasn't got me thinking scuicidal thoughts or of taking up drugs and/or alchohol, I would never resort to any of those to try to fill gaps or solve my problems.

I just don't know what to do, its like when writers get writers block, only have [motivation to live for anything or do anything] block. I have developed some wierd ways of being lately too. I feel a bit claustrophobic, I leave the door of my bedroom open to the rest of the apartment at night when I sleep, I used to have a curtain and a shade, but the shade has been up for weeks and the curtain pulled to the side for the last week, and sometimes I open the window even if it's cold out. I feel depressed because I suck so bad at school and that I have nothing else to do except watch TV, play video games and surf the internet.

I'm losing my will to do anything at all, and I need help...

So many things to be aware of and yet I haven't been able to bring myself to change any of it for the better. It just gets worse.

dumb

Why am I so lazy? I've managed to do just enough since last Thursday to survive, but other than that I've accomplished nothing. Everytime I get excited about turning my life around and coming out of the rut, I dig in deeper until I get sick of myself and try to get out of it again. Sometimes I make it back to "scraping by" status, but I never do much better than that. I need a personal trainer or a tutor or a baby sitter of somesort that can kick me in the butt. I'd probably hate whoever it was, but I'd ask them to keep it up if they didn't think I wanted them there because of it. Does that make sense? The truth is that I reject help from people who can really push me to my potential, because, on the surface, I don't want to reach my potential, but deep down inside I want them to push harder because I know I won't push myself. I'm lazy and unmotivated, and I can't concentrate on any goals I make for myself. I'm more likely to keep a promise to someone esle than I am to keep one for myself. If I told myself to go weigtlifting or studying at the library, it just wouldn't end up happening because I'm not that important to myself, but if I told someone else that I would meet them there, I would probably make it there. I'd probably be late, but I'd at least go. What is my problem? Why can't I be motivated? Why can't I see the bigger picture without being overwhelmed? Am I the only one that can't handle these things?

You know what relief is?

Relief is knowing that you're done with classes for the day even though you know that you have a $#!t-ton of homework to do by tomorrow and the next day.

One point to ponder.

Enlightened by my roommates point of view, I became aware of these lyrics from a song I have listened to many times before.

Beauty and the Mess
"Behind the Melody, the words don't mean a thing.
But every town I play would give whatever I've not said/set away"
-Nickel Creek

Think of all the lyrics of songs today that don't have any real value, but are just made so it's easy to sing along with. Are we brainwashing ourselves, or is there someone else behind it, or is that just paranoia?

strong feelings: the message

I'm not against it really... I don't think I have any reasons to be anyway. I understand that it's important. I don't think that it's a bad thing. And really, people would probably think it ridiculous if you didn't have it. Try as hard as you can not to, but it is inevitable, it will ALWAYS happen. I might be out on a limb here but, I hypothesize that the harder you try to prevent it the more it happens. The most interesting thing about it is that when you are trying, other people don't always see it the way you intended.

I'm not afraid of being judged. I embrace criticism. Criticism makes you better if you handle it the right way. I'm not lazy either; I mean it's not that I don't want to have to think about doing it because it's too hard. Sometimes I think quite deep into it, probably more than is intended. I feel like a psychologist sometimes. "So, How does that make you feel?"

SO, why then must everything, that is artistically created, contain and convey a message to the viewer, listener or in some cases, the one interacting with the creation. In fact, I might as well not be talking about artistic "expression" exclusively, but life as you know it. All of your actions and words and all of the fruits of you labor convey your message. People are reading that message like it's coming out of a book, whether they are conscious of the act or not. Did you ever think about that?

I for one, just to defy this principle, would like to create something that doesn't have a message or meaning. But no matter what I do, it will always mean something to someone else and therefore they have received a message that I have unintentionally created. This would still happen even if I created nothing. Go figure.

This is the tricky thing though: When you decide to intentionally create a message, the one on the receiving end of the message isn't always going to receive what you gave them. It's not your fault, they have a different brain and that affects how they receive and react to your message. You have to learn to be okay with that if you’re not already. I mean, I edited this post a whole bunch of times just to be sure it says exactly what I mean, but you may still not see it the way intended.

This is my message to you: receive it however you like.

and on a final note, i sometimes intentionally do not capitalize letters in a title or sentence that should be, simply because i feel like that it brings the situation down to earth and into a humbled state of being. in a way it’s just a method of being informal so that things can seem more friendly. Only, I think what people take from that action, is probably that I’m just lazy and didn’t bother to reach my pinky finger over and hold it there for a second while my other finger Types a letter. Or they think it’s because I’m just too used to Microsoft Word doing It for me. But that is not the case unless I’m talking on AOL or MSN.

bad habits

All the things I learned about myself when there was nothing to do and yet, everything on my to do list (somehow):

I find comfort in music, even when I'm in a bad mood, I feed off of it. Sometimes when I'm feeling down the music makes me feel worse but better at the same time, it's hard to explain, but I still listen to it. Ir helps me to fall asleep and get up in the morning, and sometimes it helps me get though the day.

I also found out that I kind of find comfort in food if I have it available. And I eat when I'm bored too. Lucky for me though, it doesn't show that much except a little in my stomach area. No abs of Steel here!

I have a really really bad habit of finding projects that I want to finish before I move on, but then I don't do them, which allows me to justify not getting done with other stuff like homework. "Oh, I'll just wait to do my homework until I get that shelf put up." But the truth is that the shelf won't get put up until next week and I'll find myself scrambling to finish up my homework the last minute before it's due if I attempt to do it at all.

I'm a pack rat. If it comes to saving stuff that I don't have room for, I can find a space for it somewhere. As it says in my profile, I like to be so organized that "My closet is organized my color." Which brings me to the next one...

I am also a bit of a clean freak, and I can sometimes go overboard with that aspect. For instance, this last summer I was trying to keep my parents entire house organized or at least get it that way before I left. For some reason I had the notion that their clutter was affecting my oranization, and I won't deny myself that notion yet. Anyway, I was so obsessed that when my mom tried to help, I got offensive and I wouldn't let her, I kept thinking if I left it up to them it would never get done and it would just be as messy or more messy the next time I got back. It got to the point one time where I actually got into a tug of war with her over some stuff that she claimed that she was going to take care of when I already had it in a place that seemed pretty suitable. It happened to be some camping gear, and she was taking it downstairs, when I already had a lot of, if not most of the camping stuff upstairs. I figured that stuff should stay there together, but whatever.

That's enough ranting for this morning, Hopefully I can get some homework done tomorrow, I gotta go, there's a good song on the radio...

Schedule Fall '07

Monday:
9-9:50 Arch 221
4:10-5 Agron 156
Weightlifting

Tuesday:
9-11:50 Dsn 102 Studio
3-5 Mkt 340
Possible bible study time this night.

Wednesday:
9-9:50 Arch 221
10-10:50 Agron 156
Weightlifting

Thursday:
9-11:50 Dsn 102 Studio
3-5 Mkt 340

Friday:
9-9:50 Dsn 102 Lecture
10-10:50 Arch 221 Recitation
Weightlifting

Moving In

Well I'm pretty much moved in to my apartment. Now I just have to get organized a little more and start doing homework for my summer class so I can finish before summer is over... not likely, but I should be able to finish pretty soon, I think.

Apearently, it's not a good idea to wake me from sleeping by touching me or shaking me. Jake, my roomate has tried this twice. The first time was last year, I stayed late in his room one weekend night and I forgot my shoes in his room. Then he thought he'd be nice and return them. So he comes down to my room, and he could of just dropped them off because for some reason I left the door unlocked that night, but he decided to wake me up to tell me he brought 'em back. And in a split second I was facing him, sitting half way up, with my hands curled and in a position like a panther or a cheetah or something. And then the next second I realized that I was being woken up.

This time, it was last night. Jake just moved in today, so he, Melissa his girlfriend, Kelvin and I were sitting in the living room of our apartment, and I kinda drifted off to sleep (probably because the TV wasn't on) and I don't know exactly why, but Jake decided to wake me up and didn't want me "crashing" on the couch. So, I don't know what he did, but I think he kind of shook me a little or put his hand on my shoulder a little rough to wake me up. Before I realize what's happening, my reflexes have the better of me and I have sprung from a slouched position in the corner of the couch to a crouching position on almost the other end of the couch were he was sitting and I've got my arm around the front of his neck like I've just locked up with someone in a wrestling match and I'm pressuring him into the back of the couch and I think it took a couple seconds this time to figure out what I was doing and for me to let go. That's just kind a scary. I'd hate to be a burglar or something like that who woke me up during the night by shaking me, because if he/she was even a little off gaurd, I'd have him/her in a position of disadvantage before I even realized what was happening, and then when I realized I'd probably be so freaked out that I would freak out on him/her, and it'd just be a big mess, and worse, for me, if he had a gun or a knife at the ready. Ouch!

You have to say him/her and he/she because you can't be sexist against criminals, they have feelings too!

Tree Climbin'

Sarah and I went tree climbing yesterday, and I have wanted to do that since this spring when I was promised a tree climbing adventure by the guys in my dorm hall. We never went though, and that is why I have wanted to go all this time. It was really fun, and now I have to convince all my buddies at college to go with me sometime this fall. Oh and we took video of it on Sarah's camera and she is editing it... I can't wait until its done, it's gonna be cool.

So anyway, I'm packing up my stuff today and going out for a few last minute college items for the apartment. I hope to be moved in sometime between Saturday morning and Sunday night, but if all else fails, I at least want to move in on Monday morning.

The only other thing that I need to be doing is to finish an online class that I chose to take over the summer. It's really a test of my work ethic, because it's work at your own pace. Now I'm begining to worry I won't be able to finish before the due date, because I put off so much for so long. On the other hand, it is pretty easy. So wish me luck that I can finish I guess.

Peace!

Ooh that smell, can't you smell that smell?

I don't know if I'd pay extra for it, but I sure do love the smell a brand new text books. Also, that new car smell is pretty good, and I like the smell of freshly sharpened pencils too.

Hello!

I tried to do this regularly, but I failed, as usuall. But in my defense, I have a lot of undone homework and that I need to finish before the end of the semester and this is extra stuff that comes after I'm done worrying about that or when I feel like defying responsibility.

Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

I just figured out that I doo have that song. Yesssss! (good song)

I wasted too much time today. I could have gotten more done. I wish I was able to do more this weekend too, even though I did more than I usually do during the weekend.

WARNING: The following paragraph is not intended for those who are searching for meaning or closure!
I love you Jess.
Last night I had a dream that Kelvin, Jessica, Sarah, and I were all living in dorm like quarters. I think we each had singles but all right in a row... oh, and they had balconies, that was kind of exciting. Anyway we were all hanging out in Sarah's room, but Jessica went to go do something (it might have been something school related) so it then was just Kelvin, Sarah and I hanging out and talking on the balcony. But Sarah couldn't stay long either. I think she had to go work... at Perkin's of all places. The funny thing is that when she left, she left us on the balcony and I think we got locked out there. Also, I remember that she left the TV on for some reason even though that's not something you would normally do if you were the last one leaving the room. After that Sarah's room suddenly became a double as if it had been the entire time and her roomate was there, but that didn't matter, because we were too busy being locked out on the balcony trying to jump over to mine so that we could get back inside. THE END. that's all i remember

And I have Where'd You Go- Linkin Park and Fort Minor... Hooray!

Sigh

I have so many models lying around my room. I've got like four paper models, that's an ice cream scoop, another slightly different, unfinished ice cream scoop, a space container made from the parts of the ice cream scoop, and a model just for fun made of the negative space created by the space container if that makes any sense at all. Then there are three human looking clay models on top of my wardrobe and another clay sculpture that may or may not look somewhat biomorphic, if you can imagine that concept (all of these clay models are around the same size as a slightly curled up hand). Also I have an aluminum sculpture modeled after the biomorphic thing but slightly different. With in this past week we added two miniature models of an interestingly designed doorway (which, starting on Monday, will start being transformed into a life size doorway), and a cardboard sculpture that is supposed to be a preliminary model for building an abstract 3-d stain glass model. Imagine all the tools that I had to buy to make these things cluttered in and around my window, and on my desk along with all the models. Where am I supposed to put it all? But I digress, it's fun to make models all the time. If only I could finish them faster.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm heading home for Easter and I'm getting a ride from Jess who is also taking Suzie and Karly too, hopefully it's not too packed. I should be getting a haircut this weekend, and I'm excited for that, because it's too the point where it annoys me from brushing my neck all the time.

I'm excited for all the new things coming out this year; Pirates otC III, HP book (7) and movie (5), Spidey 3... it's gonna be a good summer. And I am so going to enjoy being able to go back to my summer job too, except I'm going to miss Jess when she leaves us for so long.

A happy two years!

I have been dating my girlfriend for two years this very day (4/5/05-07) and I am very happy to have loved her for so long, (turns to her) I hope to enjoy many more with you Jess. I love you (kiss and a long, thick hug).
I love you I love you I love Jessica.
Happy two years of dating!

No matter how much I sleep...

I felt like I had a really decent amount of sleep last night and pretty decent the night before that. Today though, I almost fell asleep during two classes. One of which we had a test in. Bad deal, but I finished with time to spare. That was good.
Cinnamon gum!
Maybe I should exercise to keep me more alive and alert during the day. I think that would help.

Ready, steady, GO!

I challenge anyone who reads this to rewrite this sentance in Microsoft Word so that it is not a fragment but keep the sentance as close as you can without completely rewording it.

"LOOK HER IN THE EYE WHEN YOU TALK TO HER."

If only I paid attention when we were learning grammer in middle school, then I might know what was wrong with it to begin with.

Go! Write! Now!

The History Channel

The Bible: Historical account of events OR Military handbook for all the people of God?

Moses: Liberater of God's People OR King/Prince of the desert and military leader?

Israelites: People of God OR the evil people?

Israelites (again): Slaves of Egypt OR just workers who actually happen to have a military background.

Some of it is funny some of it is somewhat believable. (The stuff in italics is the stuff from The History Channel.)

2:30 AM

Last night I watched the movie Phone Booth with my roommate before we went to bed. I used to think it would be fun to answer a random pay phone if it rang, but now I'm not so sure.

Anyway, that got done about 1:40 or so in the morning and at about 2:15 I was still trying to get to bed. All of the sudden we hear this tremendous shatter from somewhere down the hall. I was wondering if someone had dropped a dish or something or a glass glass, but it sounded too loud for something small like that. Then I remembered that we have a trophy case just down the hall and I started to wonder if that was it or not. My curiosity got the best of me and I had to get up and find out what happened.

It turns out that it was the trophy case. There had been a bunch of people whom I'm assuming had just got back from the bars and one of them decided to punch the trophy case. It wasn't the first time but the second time that he punched it did he completely shattered the piece of glass.

There must have been about 40 or so people in that hallway after that all gathering around to discuss what happened and make fun of the people who were drunk and wandering around saying random stuff. At least 10 people were immediately taking action to clean it up and all the evidence of it ever happening was gone within a couple of minutes.

Then, the guy who punched it, with a bloody hand, wandered off down the stairway and for some reason nobody followed him or made him stay. And then, the people on duty must have called the cops because they showed up not long after he left looking for him, but he was nowhere to be found and he wouldn't answer his phone. Plus no one knew for sure where he parked his car, and their was a good chance that he might drive home drunk with two deep gashes on his hand. That was it though. After that the excitement pretty much died and everyone went back to their rooms. That is my story for now.

oh these games we play

I feel lazy and I don't want to post. Which explains why I haven't done so in a while. I should do this more often, but I feel kind of guilty if I'm doing this and not doing my homework. But I procrastinate and don't do either, so I might as well cross this one off the list since this is the easier and funner of the two things to do. I'm feeling really mellow and tired right now even though I slept until like 2:00 this afternoon.

I'm gonna see if I can't do some of my homework.

But really that's all I have to say to right now.

A real blog entry.

Last Thursday my ice cream scoop was due. We had to make 3-d replicas of some normal household objects/tools. They assigned us either a vice grip, sewing shears, or ice cream scoop. For some reason, the class refers to them all as tools even though an ice cream scoop is technically a kitchen utensil. Anyway I got there late, only by a couple of minutes though. I had just finished the project right before class, and it wasn't thee greatest of 3-d paper sculptures, but I was proud to have finished it, and I thought it was okay considering the rules were no glue or tape, and I opted not to go with sewing, because I think it's like cheating, considering the other materials you can't use. I was watching all the other kids in my class get criticized for their work, and it seemed unfair, because they had some really good work. I hope that the teachers were just being so critical in order to broaden our minds and our choices for more creative work, and not just telling us what to do to make it "better." If they're just being mean... STOP STEPPING ON MY CREATIVITY, it's hard enough trying to be original and creative without you badgering me.

So anyway, we weren't just graded on our 3-d paper objects, but also the template pieces that we used in making them and what creative composition we could come up with to put them on paper. I hadn't put a lot of extra thought into my composition, because I had only left time to concentrate on the object. None the less, I had one and I waited until they almost got done critiquing all the projects to put mine up. As I was about to hang my own up, I realized how straight and perpendicular everyonelse's compositions were. It just so happened that most of my composition was along two sides of the paper and I thought that it would be interesting to hang it diagonally with those two sides at the bottom so that the bottom of the paper had a lot of visual weight (quite the dramatic effect). But that's not why I really did it, I just didn't want to normal for some reason, I kind of wanted to reject the system. The primary reason I hung it up diagonally was simply because I knew that they would ask why I did it, and I wanted them to ask, I wanted to be thought provoking (you know, raise some questions, mix it up a little). When they did ask, and I told them that, they did NOT like it, they told me that doing something just so that people will ask is not a reason for doing something, and not an answer to their question. They were so worried about it, they didn't even talk about my composition. In short, they ripped me apart... big time. After they got done ripping on me, they just moved right on to my ice cream scoop with out mentioning anything about my composition. I felt victimized. I felt like I might almost be ready to cry. But not nearly as much as I did when we saw Seventh Day Slumber at Wartburg. That time, I did.

This week though, I get to redo the project to my teacher's liking for a better grade. I don't know why she's being so generous, but I thank her greatly. We also have to do another project where we use pieces from our template (at least 30) to make an new 3-d object, an abstract container of space. For those of you thinking tupperware when I say container of space... no! It just means that it takes up space and contains it. In fact, the idea is that it not look recognizable, so it would be bad if it looked anything like tupperware.

This weekend, Jessica called me, but I wasn't there to recieve the call, and that makes me really sad. You can't even imagine how much I miss her right now.... and all the time.

Today I went to Target with Jake and Sam, my future roommates. I got a new pair of jeans, and that is so exciting. Other than that, we walked around looking for snacks and oogling at electronics, while I held Sam back from buying anything ridiculous or unnecessary as that is what he had instructed me to do before hand. We also found a crazy awesome smelling green apple candle which was addicting and I wanted to eat it... that's how good it smelled. I wanted to buy it just so I could hold it up to my nose and smell it every once in a while. It was soooo good.

Going shopping reminds me though... of how broke I am. I need to get a job or something. Maybe I can try to give plasma like my roommate. Maybe I can withstand it and not nearly die again like the last time I gave blood (warning: this is a dramatization, not to be taken seriously and I did not really nearly die). Maybe I won't just about pass out right after they start to take my blood. It's not something I do consciously, I am perfectly fine with needles being in me and with seeing blood or even losing it, just for some reason my body rejects the idea of losing so much blood in a controlled environment and makes me feel sick therefore not allowing me to continue. The lady at the blood center, where I live, told me that I should not even try giving blood for at least three years, it's been at least two (I think).

Lately, I have been having all these self actualizing thoughts, like I'm trying to figure out why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do, and where I fit into the big picture. I wish I could remember some of them to put down right now, I have so many of them that I don't take the time to write them down. There would be a lot, and if I was able to let you know some of them, you would see how frustrating it is since most of them contradict each other. I can't figure myself out. I'll work on trying to write some of them down.

One thing interesting about this post is the time at which it was posted, you see, my weekends get mighty screwed up, I stay up really late and sleep in through a bunch of the day. Tonight I ended up being tired from last night and I fell asleep at about 7:00 PM, but I apparently didn't need that much sleep because I couldn't help but waking up again at Midnight, and couldn't get back to bed so I decided to post an entry.

The good stuff, stuff to live by.

This is a bunch of stuff that I spotted on the internet. Some of it is from people I know and some from people I don't. None of it is mine, but I like it so much that its me.

********


I watch stuff that contradicts my beliefs either to A) laugh at it (when I'm feeling closed-minded) or B) challenge my view to see if I've actually got a proper logical defense for it.

"I can't sing or dance, but I'm the star of the show!"

But I must go to bed before I fall asleep standing up or something
I must fall asleep before I go to bed standing up!
I am standing as if laying.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

[** scott here, THIS PART IS JUST ABOUT HOW I LIKED HOW A BUNCH PEOPLE HAD FUN/INTERESTING/AMUSING LISTS OF THINGS HAPPENING IN THEIR LIVES ON THEIR BLOGS... you may return **]

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd


http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=37967315&Mytoken=F5AD9960-5342-47EA-96A9625CF29F7DC5693447812

The quote that suits you: I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, put on my prayers, turned off the bed and jumped in the light all because you kissed me goodnight. You are in love with love.

You want a Beautiful love, soft but passionate. You are probably very old fashioned and polite. You can't stand rude people, wolf whistles are to you only dis-respective and immature. You love nature and everything beautiful in life. You will fall for a guy that makes you forget about the rest of the world.

Everything inspires you. The flowers in the ground. The leaves on the trees. The mud on the road. Its all...beautiful to you. Although this obsession with love might get you hurt a lot in your lifetime, its good that you don't shy away from such a strong emotion. Please rate! It would really mean a lot!

i can write five hundred words about nothing.
Its actually much easier than one might think. I mean, its much tougher to actually write about something. Like tennis. I dont know shit about tennis; I wouldnt even know where to start. A ball, a net. But nothing? I could go on for days about nothing, I could say cloud pajama frog pants pickup truck birthday tree. Dont mean shit but that dont matter. Thats nothing. I suppose I could talk about antimatter. But if I talk about anti-matter then I have to talk about matter, and thats something. Oh! I could talk about Paris Hilton. Have you noticed my hatred for that demon-whore? Comparing yourself to Marilyn Monroe? Princess Diana I could give three shits about but Marilyn Monroe? Get the fuck out of here with your lazy eye. Shit, now were talking abut something. Its not hard, just distracting to write about nothing. Part of me just wants to say flipper cornfield space cadavers versus the sunshine glutton melon jockeys for battle royal in Christmas taco and perpetual jugglers. But that might seem weird. Maybe. Instead, Ill just go on and on about how this blog serves no purpose whatsoever. You wont gain any new information from it and it will barely summon a smile let alone a laugh. You will leave unfulfilled and with a bad taste in your mouth. And I wont even have to sleep with you. Ill just keep typing, so that in the end, I can put the last period on the last word and call it a blog. I figure Im about halfway there by now. I wrote a lot of papers in college, I remember what 500oopsI mean five hundredwords looks like. Its about twice as much as this. If I just copied and pasted right now, Im sure Id be up around five hundred words. Would you notice? Are you still reading this? Maybe just a test. Its about twice as much as this. If I just copied and pasted right now, Im sure Id be up around five hundred words. Would you notice? Are you still reading this? Good. Youre with me. So. Whats up? How are things? Im good. But lets not talk about that. Instead, let us focus on nothing at all. Lets take this opportunity to fully and completely comprehend the very stupidity, utter pointlessness and total waste of valuable personal, as well as professional time. Its staggering really. Maybe if I had some votes to tally and members to sort, I wouldnt have to resort to beer-side blogs about nothing. See if you can vote on these beauties and tell your friends to do the same. It would make me very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very happy.

Thanks.


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk..
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility or all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

It's 4 am and I'm not asleep...I think I just like the intangible battle between wakefulness and sleep. The body lulling and jerking being played by the sugary sweet narcoleptic tune of the lulling mind, pulled back to the surface only by an act of willed conciousness or a startled reflex to the imbalance of sleep,...playing on that edge of whom controls whom. Yet we know who will win, or do we?...perhaps i cho0se to fall asleep...
-“Tamber”

Linda was quite lonely
On the day of love.
No one cared how well she fared
Or which way she might move.
No one thought her lovely
Or dreamed of her caress,
Or so she thought until she bought
A sexy dark red dress.
That dress had seemed a failure,
Though she had lost some weight.
Some men stared, but no one cared
Enough to make a date.
Her calendar was empty,
As empty as her heart,
When in this hell she heard the bell
And jumped up with a start.
Could it be? Oh, could it?
Here was her salvation!
To her joy a delivery boy
Was holding a carnation.
"Carnation-Gram," the boy said,
And handed her the box.
Who was it from? Perhaps someone
Who thought she was a fox.
All Linda's sadness vanished
As if it never were.
That little flower had the power
To set her heart astir!
And so when Johnny called her
In a little while,
She was primed in heart and mind
To greet him with a smile.
So please remember Linda
When starting a relation:
Her mood reversed when she got first
A single, cheap carnation!
By Turlough O'Carolan

Jonathan D. Eckert (Northern Indiana, IN) wrote
at 10:55pm
Christian girls are way more beautiful because they love God with all there heart and have an awesome relationship with there Heavenly Father, to me that’s more beautiful than outward appearance.

The more you know Jesus, the more you love Jesus.
The more you love Jesus, the more you want to follow Jesus.
The more you want to follow Jesus, the more you become like Jesus.
The more you become like Jesus, the more you become yourself.


She's got eyes comparable to sunrise
And it doesn't stop there
Man i swear
She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten . . .
. . . She's got the cutest laugh i ever heard
And we can be on the phone for three hours
Not sayin' one word
And i would still cherish every moment
And when i start to build my future she's the main component
Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it

Somehow, I have to fall in love with people again.


*************
that is it. Oh I'm going to tell you that I had a really really good weekend. Only becuase I'm lazy, this is how I'm going to tell you what happened.

Click Me

Gosh I'm the laziest.

but this is what happened after Jess and I left: we ended up going home and spending the night there and then going back to college Sunday night. And
Meanwhile on Sunday afternoon I got to go snowmobileing for the first time since about five years ago.

Odd.

I have 107 GB's of music files on my computer, and I choose to listen to Yahoo Music.

Hurray, I finished my project.

It's snowing. Just enough to make it fun when you drive.

I'm going to bed.

Happy Ground Hog Day!

Is it really Ground Hog Day? If so, I wish all of you happy Ground Hog Day, and I also wish that I could watch the movie in celebration. Pretty good movie.

A Shining Thread Of Hope

Mostly, I just hate internet responsibilities, and that is why I don't post much, I wish I did, because it'd be cool for me to be able to look back on stuff that I am writing now and see what I was thinking. But really, I don't check facebook, emails, or blogs as much as I would like to, just because it takes me so much time. It seems like a large accomplishment if I read a couple of blogs and check my three email accounts, let alone check facebook annnd possibly write a blog entry of my own. It's just to much, and I'm just a lazy bum.

I have a lot of reading to do for my classes and a pretty big project (the due date of which is getting very close) for my Design Studio. Let's see...
There's 5 chapters for Design 183, around 5 chapters for Astronomy 150 and 5 post card ideas (miniature finals) all due by **Feb. 8th. And I have to read 9 chapters and outline 3 of them by next Monday in African American Women Studies 350 in a book called A Shining Thread Of Hope, of which there is none for me. Not one shining thread!

**When I say I have to read for Dsn 183 and Astro 150, I mean there is a test on those chapters by that day, so not just glance through it, but hardcore studying. Which is funny, because I don't usually even bother with studying, but I think I'm starting to come around.

Last weekend Jessica took me for a visit home and I haven't had a lot of time to do that homework that's been piling up, but it's all good, because I'm going to get on it now, and I'm pretty sure I'll get to have most of the next weekend to myself, except when Kelvin might come to visit me. Oh and I forgot to mention that I went to Vegas again this year. I worked out so that I could miss just a couple of classes and still be alright. It was pretty awesome. I didn't get to do a lot of touristy things, but I got to do a couple things. I got to walk around in the Downtown area and in we got to see a little of the strip. I got to see La Reve and that is one of the most awesome performances I've ever been to. The next day we went to Disney on Ice, which was not fun to have to sit through, but it was for the sake of my siblings. Plus, we went to the Valley of Fire which is right near Lake Mead and we visited Mouse's Tank (a quarter mile hike) and then we ate lunch and left. Last year we went to Red Rock Canyon which was on the other side of Las Vegas. Sadly we did not see the Hoover Dam or get to go on the Dam/n Tour either year.

In other news, I have very short interesting story. When I got back from a weekend at home (thanks to Jessica:-), I had to go to the bathroom so when I went to open the stall door, to my surprise, there was a giant white mass sitting on the toilet. At first glance, not expecting anything like this, I was wondering how someone had conjured up this many soap bubbles. But when I realized what it was it appeared as though Frosty the Snowman had used our bathroom and just left behind his bottom ball. It was immensely funny and I don't know what happened to it or how it got taken care of or if it melted, but it was gone the next day. That is all.

The Red Dot!

Do Not Click this

Sheshual

Monday:
3:30-6:20 AF AM 350 (African American Women)

Tuesday:
9:00-11:20 (Gets out at 11:00) Arch 335 (Three Dimensional Studio)
11:00-12:30 Dsn S 183 (Design Culture) [Pending...]
1:10-2:00 Astro 150 (Stars, Galaxies & Cosmology) [Lecture]
3:10-6:00 Dsn 102 (Design Studio I)

Wednesday:
9:00-9:50 Astro 150 (Stars, Galaxies & Cosmology) [Recitation]
11:00-11:50 Lib 160 (Library Instruction) [Start Date: 3/5/07]

Thursday:
9:00-11:20 (Gets out at 11:00) Arch 335 (Three Dimensional Studio)
11:00-12:30 Dsn S 183 (Design Culture) [Pending...]
1:10-2:00 Astro 150 (Stars, Galaxies & Cosmology) [Lecture]
3:10-6:00 Dsn 102 (Design Studio I)

Friday:
12:10-1:00 Dsn 102 (Design Studio I) [Lecture]

Total Credits=12.5
Hours Spent in Class= Exactly 20 hr. 20 min.

"It's called a new day"

I'm back and I can finally post, although I don't have much time before my class. A lot's happened since the last time I blogged so I'll have to bring you up to speed on some things, and post my schedule for this semester. But not yet, since I have to eat and go to class. Good luck on the semester everyone, and Happy New Year.